13 Things About You
A Froggy Tag
A Friendship Rainbow
A Letter From Camp
A Man, His Wife, And a Cop
A Poem For Boys
A Smart Man
A Student's Prayer
A Wifes Work
ABCs of Friendship
Average Military Man
Beautiful Woman Month
Bob Hope Memorial
Dog Gone Good Advice
God Only Writes Bestsellers
Girl Friend's Day
How Hot is Hell
How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
I Picked You
I'll be There For You
Keep The Candle Burning
Life Lessons From Frogs
Monday Morning at Work
More Cute Pictures
Moses and the Computer
National Friendship Week
No Luck at All
Secrets of a Happy Life
Serious Disease Warning
The Blessed Alphabet
The Birds and The Bees
The Bridge Builder
The Melting Princess
The Most Important Things
The Skinny Dipper
The Trouble Tree
Think Forever Young
Things That Go Bump
Things You Don't See Everyday
Thinking of You
Thoughts on Children
To My Friend
When We First Met
Who Wants a Taco?
World Trade Center
Words of Wisdom?
You Got Mail
Never take a beer to a job interview. Always identify
in your yard before shooting at them. It's considered tacky to
take a cooler to church. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is
time to change the sheets. Even if you're certain that you are
included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a
U-Haul to the funeral home.
When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper
cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the wine. If
drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers
covering the label.
Entertaining In Your Home
A centerpiece for the table should never be anything
prepared by a taxidermist. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table...
no matter how good his manners are.
While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job
should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys. Proper use of
toiletries can forestall bathing for several days.
However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good
money. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social
no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and
alter the taste of finger foods.
Dating (Outside The Family)
Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on
the first date. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've
been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the
bathroom wall two years ago." Establish with her parents what time she
is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday."
If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her
to school on time.
Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked
up immediately after the movie has ended. Refrain from talking to
characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding
gift. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot. For
the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure
suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky
appearance. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for
this special occasion.
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if
the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight. When approaching a
four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the
right of way. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to
ask her to bring back beer. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a
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