Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries.
--Everett McKinley Dirksen

************

This week’s Brain Teaser

Answer at end of letter

What common phrase is represented below?

IGAR
CIGR
CGAR
CIGA
CIAR

*********************

Latin Phrase

Verbum sat sapienti

"A word to the wise is enough"

Welcome to Leona's Brain Candy . If you choose to forward part of braincandy, please forward the whole letter.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

· Riddle of the week

· Quote of the week

· This week’s brain teaser

· Joke of the week

Don't ever judge a chili contest

· Pun of the week

· Limerick of the week

· Celebrate this week

· Say what?

· The editor speaks out

· A Web Site of Interest

· Riddle answer

· ‘Say what’ translated

· Subscribe/unsubscribe information.

******

Joke of the week

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.

Meanwhile, all the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content.

The results showed a reading of 0.0.

The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the DD.”

“Designated driver?” asked the cop.

“No, designated decoy."

***************

Don't Ever Judge a Chili Contest

CHILI CONTEST

If you can read this whole story without tears of
laughter running down your cheeks, then there's no
hope for you!

*Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you
pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of
the third judge is even better! For those of you who
have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They
actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time the
Rodeo comes to town. It takes up a major portion of
the parking lot at the Astrodome.

The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named
Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a
judge at a chili cook-off. The Judge #3 called in sick
at the last moment and I happened to be standing there
at the judge's table asking for directions to the
Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured
by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili
wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me
I could have free beer during the tasting, so I
accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

Chili # 1 (Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili) Judge
# 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy crap, what the heck is this
stuff? You could remove dried paint from your
driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I
hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Chili # 2 (Arthur's Afterburner Chili) Judge # 1 --
Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers
to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children.
I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain.
I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the
Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when
they saw the look on my face.

Chili # 3 (Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili)
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use
of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium
spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano.
Everyone knows the routine by now.
Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me
on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of
my chest. I'm getting woozy from all of the beer!

Chili # 4 (Bubba's Black Magic) Judge # 1 -- Black
bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good
side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a
chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my
tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to
burn out taste buds?
Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh
refills.

Chili # 5 (Linda's Legal Lip Remover) Judge # 1 --
Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more
tomato.
Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong
statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off
my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I
farted and four people behind me needed paramedics.
The contestant seemed offended when I told her that
her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my
tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it
from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off.
It really angers me off that the other judges asked me
to stop screaming. Scr-- those rednecks.

Chili # 6 (Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety) Judge # 1
-- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good
balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers,
onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge #3-- I messed myself when I farted and I'm worried
it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined
to stand behind me except Sally. She must be unable to smell or more dedicated than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my rear with a snow cone.

Chili # 7 (Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili) Judge #
1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned
peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally
threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I
should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He
appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull
the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight
in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of
rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which
slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just
suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

Chili # 8 (Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili) Judge # 1
-- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not
too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced
chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of
it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and
pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure
if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd
have reacted to really hot chili?

Pun of the Week

The family of potatoes

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner--Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make."

"And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes.

"Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!"

The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?"

"I'm marrying a Russet!"

"A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride.

"Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"

As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother? I, too, have an announcement."

"And what might that be?" encouraged Mother Potato.

Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, "I, too, am getting married!"

"You, too!" Mother Potato said with joy. "That's wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?"

"I'm marrying an Idaho!" beamed the middle daughter.

"An Idaho!" said Mother Potato with joy. "Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"

Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. "Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make."

"Yes?" said Mother Potato with great anticipation.

"Well," began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, "I hope this doesn't come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!"

"Really?" said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. "All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, Youngest Daughter?"

"I'm marrying Peter Jennings!"

"Peter Jennings?!" Mother Potato scowled suddenly. "But he's just a common tater!"

*******************

Limerick of the week

Kasia Kowalewski
There once was a boy from Montreal
Who loved to play basketball
For a team he tried out
But if he made it, I doubt
For you see, he was three feet tall!

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Cynic’s Corner

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway
--Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962)

Parents learn a lot from their children about coping with life.
--Muriel Spark

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Celebrate

January

0404 Last gladiator competition in Rome

1673 Regular mail delivery begins between New York & Boston

1788 Quakers in Pennsylvania emancipate their slaves

1808 Congress prohibits importation of slaves

1863 Abraham Lincoln issued the Emancipation Proclamation

1908 The ball signifying the New Year was dropped for the first time at Times Square in New York City.

Alabama : Mobile Carnival
Cameroon : Independence Day (1960)
Cuba : Revolution Day
Haiti : Independence Day (1804)

1788 Georgia was admitted to the Union as the 4th state.

1959 The first spacecraft to orbit the Sun, USSR launches Mechta (Luna 1) for 1st lunar fly-by, 1st solar orbit

1929 US & Canada agree to preserve Niagara Falls

1961 Hawaii's, then all time low temperature, 14ºF recorded atop Haleakale

1995 Most distant galaxy yet discovered found by scientists using Keck telescope in Hawaii (estimated 15 billion light years away)

Georgia : Constitution Ratification Day (1788)
Haiti : Ancestor/Hero's Day
Japan : Kakizome
Japan : Shigoto Hajime-Begin Work Day [beginning of the work year]
Spain : Granada Day (1492)

1521 Martin Luther excommunicated by Roman Catholic Church

1876 1st free kindergarten in US opens in Florence MA

1925 Mussolini dissolves Italian parliament/becomes dictator

1959 Alaska admitted as 49th US state

Alaska : Admission Day (1959)

1493 Columbus left new world on return from 1st voyage

1863 4 wheeled roller skates patented by James Plimpton of NY

1887 Thomas Stevens is 1st man to bicycle around the world (San Francisco-San Francisco); 21,700km

1896 Utah was admitted as 45th state in the United States.

1968 Burma (Myanmar) gained independence from Great Britain.

1999 The U.S. Mint began distributing the 50 State Quarters.

Burma : Independence Day (1948)
Sri Lanka : Tamil Thai Pongal Day
Utah : Admission Day (1896)
Zaïre : Martyrs' Day

1825 Alexandre Dumas pare fights his 1st duel; his pants fall down

1896 A German newspaper reported German physicist Wilhelm Roentgen's discovery of X-rays.

1925 Nellie Tayloe Ross became the first woman governor of a state (Wyoming).

1933 Work on Golden Gate Bridge begins, on Marin County side

1945 Pepe LePew debuts in Warner Bros cartoon "Odor-able Kitty"

England : Glastonbury Thorn Day

12th Night, end of Christmas season (Denmark)

1838 Samuel Morse gave the first public demonstration of the telegraph.

1912 New Mexico became the 47th state in the United States.

1535 City of Lima Peru founded by Francisco Pizarro

Iraq : Army Day
New Mexico : Admission Day (1912)
Uruguay : Children's Day

1714 Typewriter patented by Englishman Henry Mill (built years later)

1789 The first Presidential election was held in the U.S.

1892 Mine explosion kills 100, Krebs OK-blacks trying to help rescue white survivors, driven away with guns

1896 Fanny Farmer published her first cookbook.

1927 Harlem Globetrotters play 1st game (Hinckley IL)

Liberia : Pioneers' Day

1798 The 11th Amendment to the Constitution, modifying the power of the Supreme Court, was ratified

1656 Oldest surviving commercial newspaper begins (Haarlem, Netherlands)

1918 Mississippi becomes 1st state to ratify 18th amendment (prohibition)

1951 Thought extinct since 1615, a Cahow is rediscovered in Bermuda

Louisana : Battle of New Orleans/Old Hickory Day/ Jackson Day (1815)

1788 Connecticut became the 5th state in the United States.

1951 The United Nations headquarters opened in New York City

1861 1st hostile act of Civil War; Star of the West fired on, Sumter SC

1956 Abigail Van Buren's "Dear Abby" column 1st appears in newspapers

Connecticut : Ratification Day (1788)
Panamá, Canal Zone : Martyrs' Day/Dia de los Martires

1839 Tea from India 1st arrives in UK

1920 The League of Nations came into existence.

1949 RCA introduces 45 RPM record

1967 PBS (the National Educational TV) begins as a 70 station network

1968 US Surveyor 7 lands near lunar crater Tycho

********************

Fun Facts

Birds do not sleep in their nests. They may occasionally nap in them, but they actually sleep in other places.

In Gulliver's Travels Jonathan Swift described the two moons of Mars, Phobos and Deimos, giving their exact size and speeds of rotation. He did this more than 100 years before either moon was discovered.

**************

Say What?

Everything is legitimate in matters pertaining to ardent affection and armed conflict between nations.

**************

The editor speaks out

It is a new year, and all of us are thinking about New Year's resolutions and how to make our lives better.I remeber as a child I made such huge resolutions. I would never lie, miss my homework, or eat sweets again. I was going to make myself perfect by sheer willpower. After I grew up I realized how impossible that was, so I set my sights lower. I would become perfect in just one area. Ha!Ha!

Finally I realized I never kept any resolution, so I stopped making them. But the desire to improve my life at the start of each year was still there. So I began making planned changes to my life. I would look at the mistakes I had made. analyze why I kept doing the wrong thing, and make a plan on how to change my behavior, one step at a time instead of an all or nothing dash.

So. I found myself making educated resolutions. One failure doesn't send me into a self-condemning depression. Now my resolutions read like : drink 5-6 quarts of water a day, and the plan is to make sure I drink 2qts before 2 pm. And if I drink only 4 qts one day, I make sure to drink at least 5 the next day. My resolutions no longer stress me out or condemn me, but I have made several positive changes to my life over the last few years.

May your New Year's resolutions be realistic and have a plan to succeed attached to them. And if they didn't. you can always change them and start over. The whole month is part of the New Year.

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A web site of interest

Lots to do at this site for all ages- incliuding homework help

http://www.funbrain.com/

***************

Riddle Answer

The two men were partners playing doubles.

*************

Brain Teaser Answer

Close, but no cigar.

*****************

Say what’ translated

All’s fair in love and war.

*****************

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LEONA’S BRAIN CANDY

A treat for your brain

Meant to make you smile

Where else can you get so much delivered to you at no charge?

************

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This week’s riddle

Answer at end of letter

There is a seven-letter word in the English language that contains ten words without rearranging any of its letters." What is the word?

*****************

Quote of the week

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
~~Unknown

Words are powerful things. They can make someone feel ten feet tall, or two inches small. Choose your words wisely and well.

************

This week’s Brain Teaser

Answer at end of letter

A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet.
He turns to the rich man and says to him
”I have an amazing talent: I know almost every song that has ever existed.”
The rich man laughs.
The poor man says “I am willing to bet you all the money you have in you wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.”
The rich man laughs again and says “Ok how about my daughter’s name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller.”
The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing?

*********************

Latin Phrase

Quod Sum Eris

"I am what you will be," a motto for a gravestone

****************************

Welcome to Leona's Brain Candy . If you choose to forward part of braincandy, please forward the whole letter.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

· Riddle of the week

· Quote of the week

· This week’s brain teaser

· Joke of the week

A Phone call from God

· Pun of the week

· Limerick of the week

· Celebrate this week

· Say what?

· The editor speaks out

· A Web Site of Interest

· Riddle answer

· ‘Say what’ translated

· Subscribe/unsubscribe information.

******

Joke of the week

A prisoner in jail received a letter from his wife:

"I have decided to plant some wheat in the back forty. When is the best time to plant it and who should I get to plow it?"

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter:

"Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back field! Don’t let anyone plow it! That is where I hid all the gold."

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife:

"You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels during the night, and dug up the whole back field."

The prisoner wrote another letter:

"Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the wheat!"

***************

A phone call from God

On a Saturday night several weeks ago, this pastor was working late, and decided to call his wife before he left for home. It was about 10:00 PM, but his wife didn't answer the phone. The pastor let it ring many times. He thought it was odd that she didn't answer, but decided to wrap up a few things and try again in a few minutes. When he tried again she answered right away. He asked her why she hadn't answered before, and she said that it hadn't rung at their house. They brushed it off as a fluke and went on their merry ways.

The following Monday, the pastor received a call at the church office, which was the phone that he'd used that Saturday night. The man that he spoke with wanted to know why he'd called on Saturday night. The pastor couldn't figure out what the man was talking about.

Then the man said, "It rang and rang, but I didn't answer."

The pastor remembered the mishap and apologized for disturbing him, explaining that he'd intended to call his wife.

The man said, "That's OK. Let me tell you my story. You see, I was planning to commit suicide on Saturday night, but before I did, I prayed, 'God if you're there, and you don't want me to do this, give me a sign now.' At that point my phone started to ring. I looked at the caller ID, and it said, 'Almighty God'. I was afraid to answer!"

The reason why it showed on the man's caller ID that the call came from "Almighty God" is because the church that the pastor attends is called Almighty God Tabernacle!! If you believe that God answers prayers then pass this on

  ***************

Pun of the Week

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

*******************

Limerick of the week

Jazmin
I wish that I was just like you
So I could be beautiful, too.
I am sad and upset
That we ever met
Because now I want to be you

**********************

Cynic’s Corner

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
--Albert Einstein

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
--Lily Tomlin

**************************

Celebrate

1714 Typewriter patented by Englishman Henry Mill (built years later)

1789 The first Presidential election was held in the U.S.

1892 Mine explosion kills 100, Krebs OK-blacks trying to help rescue white survivors, driven away with guns

1896 Fanny Farmer published her first cookbook.

1927 Harlem Globetrotters play 1st game (Hinckley IL)

Liberia : Pioneers' Day

1798 The 11th Amendment to the Constitution, modifying the power of the Supreme Court, was ratified

1656 Oldest surviving commercial newspaper begins (Haarlem, Netherlands)

1918 Mississippi becomes 1st state to ratify 18th amendment (prohibition)

1951 Thought extinct since 1615, a Cahow is rediscovered in Bermuda

Louisana : Battle of New Orleans/Old Hickory Day/ Jackson Day (1815)

1788 Connecticut became the 5th state in the United States.

1951 The United Nations headquarters opened in New York City

1861 1st hostile act of Civil War; Star of the West fired on, Sumter SC

1956 Abigail Van Buren's "Dear Abby" column 1st appears in newspapers

Connecticut : Ratification Day (1788)
Panamá, Canal Zone : Martyrs' Day/Dia de los Martires

1839 Tea from India 1st arrives in UK

1920 The League of Nations came into existence.

1949 RCA introduces 45 RPM record

1967 PBS (the National Educational TV) begins as a 70 station network

1968 US Surveyor 7 lands near lunar crater Tycho

1935 Amelia Earhart became the first person to fly solo from Hawaii to California.

1759 1st American life insurance company incorporated, Philadelphia

1813 1st pineapples planted in Hawaii

1949 Snowfall 1st recorded in Los Angeles

Albania : Republic Day (1946)
Chad : Independence Day (1960)
Puerto Rico : De Hostos' Birthday (1839)

1773 The first public museum in the U.S. was established in Charleston, S.C.

1777 Mission Santa Clara de Asis founded in California

1896 H. L. Smith took the first X-ray photograph. It was a hand with a bullet in it.

Tanzania : Zanzibar Revolution Day

1942 Henry Ford patented the plastic automobile body.

1794 Congress changes US flag to 15 stars & 15 stripes

1888 National Geographic Society founded (Washington DC)

Ghana : Redemption Day (1972)
Togo : Liberation Day (1963)
US : Stephen Foster Memorial Day

1690 Clarinet is invented, in Nüremberg, Germany

1784 U.S. ratified treaty with England ending Revolutionary War.

1699 Massachusetts holds day of fasting for wrongly persecuting "witches"

1914 Henry Ford introduces assembly line, for T-Fords

Julian calendar : New Year's Day in 20th, 21st centuries
Maryland : Ratification Day (1784)

1759 The British Museum opened.

1870 The donkey was first used as symbol of the Democratic Party in Harper's Weekly.

1797 1st top hat worn (John Etherington of London)

1943 The world's largest office building, the Pentagon, was completed.

Martin Luther King’s actual Birthday

Guatemala : Esquipulas
Japan : Adults Day/Seijin-No-Hi
Jordan : Arbor Day
Venezuala : Teachers' Day/Dia Del Maestro

1547 Ivan IV the Terrible (17) crowns himself 1st tsar of Russia

1786 The Virginia Legislature adopted the Ordinance of Religious Freedom, which guaranteed that no man would be forced to attend or support any church. This mandate later became the model for the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

1868 Refrigerator car patented by William Davis, a fish dealer in Detroit

1604 At the Hampton Court Conference in England, John Rainolds presented to King James I the motion '...that there might bee a newe translation of the Bible.' Approved the next day, Rainolds' motion led to the 1611 publication of the Authorized (King James) version of the Bible.

1773 Captain James Cook becomes 1st to cross Antarctic Circle (66º 33' S)

1991 Operation Desert Storm was launched against Iraq.

1861 Flush toilet (with separate water tank and a pull chain) patented by Mr Thomas Crapper (Honest!)

1893 Queen Liliuokalani deposed, Kingdom of Hawaii becomes a republic

Poland : Liberation Day

********************

Fun Facts

Lightning strikes the earth 100 times every second. The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words. More than 2 billion pencils are manufactured each year in the United States. If these were laid end to end they would circle the world nine times.

A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

**************

Biblical Theme Songs

Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"
Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"
Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"
Esther: "I Feel Pretty"
Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues"
Moses: "The Wanderer"
Samson: "Hair"
Salome: "I Could Have Danced All Night"
Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Esau: "Born To Be Wild"
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: "Great Balls of Fire!"
The Three Kings: "When You Wish Upon a Star"
Jonah: "Got a Whale of a Tale"
Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away"
Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive"
Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy"

Say What?

Never situate the conveyance and its accouterments forward of the perambulating, ambulatory equine

**************

The editor speaks out

Happy New Year to all!!

I have been really thrilled with all of you who have sent me your first and last names. California State law says I have to have first and last names, and that I have to post my mailing address on the newsletter. So my address is now at the bottom of the letter. I have the names of all but about a dozen subscribers, and I will be contacting those people next week.

One problem that I am running into is some people have asked to subscribe, and the email gets returned. The new email spam blockers might block the newsletter if you don't list my address as someone you want mail from. Then the newsletter will get through, even if the story or jokes or whatever use trigger words like fre*e.

I am having a pleasant break, and hope you are having a good time.

*************

A web site of interest

http://www.moonestates.com/index.asp

This is not a reccommenndation to buy anything from this site. I just thought ot was fun to see the site where you can 'buy' land on the moon or another planet. There are a log of strange sites out there, and this one looked interesting.

***************

Riddle Answer

Therein: The, There, He, In, Rein, Her, Here, Ere, Therein, Herein.

*************

Brain Teaser Answer

"Happy Birthday."

This song can be sung with anyone's name in it.

*****************

Say what’ translated

Don’t put the cart before the horse.

*****************

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January 14

LEONA’S BRAIN CANDY

A treat for your brain

Meant to make you smile

Where else can you get so much delivered to you at no charge?

************

Unsubscribe directions at bottom 040114

This week’s riddle

Answer at end of letter

Different lights do make me strange, thus into different sizes I will change.

What am I?

*****************

Quote of the week

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.

Harold Wilson (1916 - 1995)

Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.

************

This week’s Brain Teaser

Answer at end of letter

Seven sons she has, this loving mother,
One is aloof, the other with a temper;
Four are gifted with rings of wonder,
The last, to his mom none is dearer.

She also has two daughters, we gather
Like twins, close to each other.
We know one for her air and laughter,
Hot, dazzling and beautiful, the sister.

Her name, one too many to remember,
But all known to a devote follower, to you, To me and to every wanderer, she is Arguably the perfect mother.

Question: What are the names of the mother and her dearest son?
Who were gifted rings?

*********************

Welcome to Leona's Brain Candy . If you choose to forward part of braincandy, please forward the whole letter.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

· Riddle of the week

· Quote of the week

· This week’s brain teaser

· Joke of the week

Things it took me 50 years to learn

· Pun of the week

· Limerick of the week

· Celebrate this week

· Say what?

· The editor speaks out

· A Web Site of Interest

· Riddle answer

· ‘Say what’ translated

· Subscribe/unsubscribe information.

******

Joke of the week

What are CATS?

* Cats do whatever they want, and you have no idea what they are thinking.
* They rarely listen to you.
* They're totally unpredictable.
* They whine when they are not happy.
* When you want to play, they want to be alone.
* When you want to be alone, they want to play.
* They expect you to cater to their every whim.
* They're moody.
* They leave hair everywhere.
* They drive you nuts and cost an arm and a leg.

CONCLUSION: Cats are little women in fur coats.

What are DOGS?

* Dogs lie around all day, sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture they're allowed to sit on.
* They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
* They growl when they are not happy.
* They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don't listen to you when you're in the same room.
* When you want to play, they want to play.
* When you want to be alone, they want to play.
* They are great at begging.
* They will love you forever if you rub their tummies.
* They leave their toys everywhere.
* They do disgusting things with their mouths and then kiss you.

CONCLUSION: Dogs are little MEN in fur coats.

***************

Things it took me 50 years to learn

by Dave Barry
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human
race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that
word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost
never want you to share yours with them.
5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
6.Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby
emerging from her at that moment.
11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people
to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep
down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a
nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
14.Your friends love you anyway.
15.Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone
amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the
Titanic.
16. FINAL Thought for the day: Men are like a fine wine. They start
out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until
they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Now there, doesn't that just touch your heart?

Pun of the Week

hungry lion

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows readers digest and writers cramp.

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Limerick of the week

There once was a boy of Baghdad,
An inquisitive sort of a lad,
Who said, "I will see
If a sting has a bee."
And he very soon found that it had!

**********************

Celebrate

1690 Clarinet is invented, in Nüremberg, Germany

1784 U.S. ratified treaty with England ending Revolutionary War.

1699 Massachusetts holds day of fasting for wrongly persecuting "witches"

1914 Henry Ford introduces assembly line, for T-Fords

Julian calendar : New Year's Day in 20th, 21st centuries
Maryland : Ratification Day (1784)

1759 The British Museum opened.

1870 The donkey was first used as symbol of the Democratic Party in Harper's Weekly.

1797 1st top hat worn (John Etherington of London)

1943 The world's largest office building, the Pentagon, was completed.

Martin Luther King’s actual Birthday

Guatemala : Esquipulas
Japan : Adults Day/Seijin-No-Hi
Jordan : Arbor Day
Venezuala : Teachers' Day/Dia Del Maestro

1547 Ivan IV the Terrible (17) crowns himself 1st tsar of Russia

1868 Refrigerator car patented by William Davis, a fish dealer in Detroit

1773 Captain James Cook becomes 1st to cross Antarctic Circle (66º 33' S)

1991 Operation Desert Storm was launched against Iraq.

1861 Flush toilet (with separate water tank and a pull chain) patented by Mr Thomas Crapper (Honest!)

1893 Queen Liliuokalani deposed, Kingdom of Hawaii becomes a republic

Poland : Liberation Day

1733 The first polar bear was exhibited in America, in Boston.

1896 The X-ray machine was demonstrated for the first time in the U.S., in New York City.

1778 Captain James Cook stumbles over Sandwich Islands (Hawaiian Islands)

Tunisia : Revolution Day (1956)

Martin Luther King Day

1915 The electric neon sign was patented by George Claude of Paris, France.

1825 Ezra Daggett & nephew Thomas Kensett patent food storage in tin cans

1840 Antarctica discovered, Charles Wilkes expedition (US claim)

1919 "Tidal wave" of molasses 15 meters high x 25 meters wide kills dozens, Boston

Southern US : Robert E Lee Day
Texas : Confederate Heroes' Day

1889 The Salvation Army split, as one faction within the denomination renounced allegiance to founder William Booth. Booth's son Ballington and his wife Maud led the American splinter group, which in 1896 incorporated itself as a separate denomination known as the Volunteers of America.

1265 1st English Parliament called into session by Earl of Leicester

1841 China cedes Hong Kong to the British

1885 LaMarcus A. Thompson of Coney Island patented the roller coaster.

1942 At the notorious Wannsee Conference in Berlin, German Nazi officials decided on their "final solution," which called for a mass extermination of all the Jews in Europe.

1981 52 American hostages seized from the American Embassy in Tehran were released after 444 days in captivity.

1981 President Reagan became the oldest president to take office (69 years and 349 days).

Bulgaria : Grandmother's Day/Babin Den
Mali : National Army Day

1799 Edward Jenner's smallpox vaccination was introduced.

1954 USS Nautilus, the first nuclear-powered submarine was launched.

1853 Envelope-folding machine patented by Russell Hawes, Worcester MA

Dominican Republic : Nuestra Senora de Altagracia Day

1901

Queen Victoria of England died after reigning for 63 years (the 4th longest among longest-reigning monarchs and the longest for queens).

1973 The Supreme Court legalized some abortions in Roe v. Wade.

1939 Uranium atom 1st split, Columbia University

1946 US President sets up CIA, Central Intelligence Agency

Ukraine : Ukrainian Day (1918)
China : Chinese New Year-The Year of the Monkey (2004/4702)

1492 "Pentateuch" (Jewish holy book) 1st printed
1552 2nd version of Book of Common Prayer becomes mandatory in England

1556 The deadliest earthquake on record killed 830,000 in Shansi, China.

1894 G W Bunbury of Dublin sets shorthand record of 250 wpm for 10 minutes

1983 Russian radioactive satellite falls into Indian Ocean

Luxembourg : Grand Duchess' Birthday

41 Roman emperor, Gaius Caesar, better known as Caligula (meaning Little Boot—he used to wear military boots as a child), was murdered.

1848 Gold was first discovered in California, in Sutter's mill. When President Polk announced the news in December, the gold rush began.

1972 Japanese soldier Shoichi Yokoi was discovered in Guam, having spent 28 years hiding in the jungle thinking World War II was still going on.

1899 Rubber heel patented by Humphrey O'Sullivan

Aymara Indians, Bolivia : Alacitis Fair

********************

Fun Facts

A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

Ralph Graves entered a doughnut shop with a gun and demanded money from the cashier. A customer recognized him, however, when Graves lifted up a corner of his pillowcase mask to find his way out the door. Graves had forgotten to cut eyeholes.

**************

Say What?

A consolidated mass which forms the earth's crust, and which progresses by turning over upon its surface without slipping, does not successfully gather together a cryptogamous plant.

**************

The editor speaks out

A long time ago, I received some beautiful sketches of Jesus in my email. I thought they were so exceptional that I made a screensaver of them, and then set them up on my website. Most of you have seen these sketches of Jesus playing with the children, and many of you downloaded the screensaver.

This week I discovered these pictures had been stolen from the artist, and sent out without her knowledge or permission. Visiting her site, she seems to be accepting the theft, and glad for the people who were blessed by receiving the pictures. But the pictures are copyrighted to her and she doesn't want any more given away. So I have removed her pictures from my site. I will no longer be sending out the screensaver.

If the pictures blessed you in a special way, please let this lady know. If you have the screensaver and love it, you might buy one of her pictures. If you can't afford her pictures, sending her something would be nice. For some of you, I know even a few dollars is more than you can do, so you might pray for this person, or send encouragement, or send her site to people who might buy from her.

For those of you who don't care for the screensaver, just delete it and ignore this. If you didn't like it, you probably already deleted it anyway.

It is warm here this week and Killer is loving it. She spends a lot of time outside playing. She is barking a lot, we think it may be squirrels. When she comes in her little feet are so cold.

I went to the theater to see Lord Of The Rings. It was so good. I loved it. I had a pleasant surprise. Last year I didn't fit in the seat, so spent the time very uncomfortable. With the weight I've lost and the exercises I've done, I fit in the chair just fine, thank you. Maybe by next year I'll be able to rent part of the chair to someone else- ha ha!

It is a new year, and the easiest time for me to go on a weight loss regime. I am ready, too. I have spent months building muscles, and have increased my ability to do aerobics. So I should lose weight a lot easier and a lot faster than I did last year.

In preparation for this task, I have pulled out my research to find all those tips that help me lose and make my diet easier. This year I decided I should put them in a new newsletter, just for people interested in dieting and fitness. I will give a diet tip. expose a diet myth, evaluate a diet plan (tell you if it works and why) and talk about exercise. with a special word for the morbidly obese who have trouble moving. The goal isn't weight loss as much as it is to lose fat and grow stronger and healthier. So many diets have you losing mostly water and muscle. It looks good on the scale, but the end result is gaining more and feeling worse. Following my plan might not move the scale much at first. (I don't even own one.) But it will have a person moving easier and the clothing will get looser, and when fat is lost, it won't come back immediately with all its friends and relatives.

After all, almost anyone can lose weight. I've lost tons. The trick is keeping it off and following a program that is livable.

I am not sure how soon I will get this newsletter started. I hope within 4 weeks or less.

*************

A web site of interest

The true artist who did the "Sketches by Linda" that I used for the screensaver

http://www.keatonprints.com/email.htm

She has many other beautiful sketches, and she does custom work

***************

Riddle Answer

I am the pupil of an eye.

*************

Brain Teaser Answer

The mother is the sun.
The dearest (closest to his mom) is Mercury.
Pluto is aloof (distant, dark and cold).
Mars has a temper (god of war, and the volcano in mars).
Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune all have planetary rings (Saturn's being in the thousands).
Earth and Venus are the daughters. Twins they are often called because they are close to each other.
Earth is known for air (oxygen that sustains life) and laughter (living beings laugh).
Venus is the hottest planet, dazzling and beautiful from Earth.
The sun's names are many. Sun, Star, Phobos etc. from science and even literature.
Wanderer refers both to people (who will all die) and planets (wanderer is root of the name).
The sun is a perfect mother giving warmth, light and is always there

*****************

Say what’ translated

A rolling stone gathers no moss.

*****************

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January 21

LEONA’S BRAIN CANDY

A treat for your brain

Meant to make you smile

Where else can you get so much delivered to you at no charge?

Unsubscribe directions at bottom 040121

***************

This week’s riddle

Answer at end of letter

Old Mr. Tidy was found dead in his study by Mr. Fiend. Mr. Fiend recounted his dismal discovery to the police. "I was walking by Mr. Tidy`s house when I thought I would just pop in for a visit. I noticed his study light was on and I decided to peek in from the outside to see if he was in there. There was frost on the window, so I had to wipe it away to see inside. That is when I saw his body. So I kicked in the front door to confirm my suspicions of foul play. I called the police immediately afterward." The officer immediately arrested Mr. Fiend for the murder of Mr. Tidy. How did he know Mr. Fiend was lying?

*****************

Quote of the week

Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.

Eddie Rickenbacker (1890 - 1973)

************

This week’s Brain Teaser

Answer at end of letter

One day a father went to his three sons and told them that he would die soon and he needed to decide which one of them to give his property to. He decided to give them all a test. He said "Go to the market my sons and purchase something that is large enough to fill my bedroom, but small enough to fit in your pocket. From this I will decide who of you is the wisest and worthy enough to inherit my land." So they all went to the market and bought something that they thought would fill the room, yet was still small enough that they could fit into their pockets. Each son came back with a different item. The father told his sons to come into his bedroom one at a time and try to fill up his bedroom with whatever they had purchased. The first son came in and put some pieces of cloth that he had bought and laid them end to end across the room, but it barely covered any of the floor. Then the second son came in and laid some hay, that he had purchased, on the floor but there was only enough to cover half of the floor. The third son came in and showed his father what he had purchased and how it could fill the entire room yet still fit into his pocket. The father replied "You are truly the wisest of all and you shall received my property." What was it that the son had showed to his father?

*********************

Welcome to Leona's Brain Candy . If you choose to forward part of braincandy, please forward the whole letter.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

· Riddle of the week

· Quote of the week

· This week’s brain teaser

· Joke of the week

· Pun of the week

· Limerick of the week

· Celebrate this week

· Say what?

· The editor speaks out

· A Web Site of Interest

· Riddle answer

· ‘Say what’ translated

· Subscribe/unsubscribe information.

******

Joke of the week

A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field.

Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians.

A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?"

The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."

***************

FWD

Take my Son

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art...

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art." The young man held out this package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this."

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It's a gift."

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?"

There was silence.

Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one."

But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid for this painting. Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?"

Another voice angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!"

But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take the son?"

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

"We have $10, who will bid $20?"

"Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters."

"$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?"

The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10.!"

A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the collection!"

The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over."

"What about the paintings?"

"I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings.

The man who took the son gets everything!"
********************

Pun of the Week

Did you hear about the disaster at a major U.S. University?

A team of scientists were cloning monkeys and one of them blew up.

The researchers are now trying to determine what went wrong by sifting through the Rhesus' pieces.

*******************

Limerick of the week

The fabulous Wizard of Oz
Retired from business becoz,
Due to up-to-date science,
To most of his clients
He wasn't the Wiz that he woz.

**********************

Latin Corner

Culpa est mea

"The fault is mine,"

**************************

Celebrate

1799 Edward Jenner's smallpox vaccination was introduced.

1954 USS Nautilus, the first nuclear-powered submarine was launched.

1853 Envelope-folding machine patented by Russell Hawes,

Worcester MA

Dominican Republic : Nuestra Senora de Altagracia Day

1901

Queen Victoria of England died after reigning for 63 years (the 4th longest among longest-reigning monarchs and the longest for queens).

1973 The Supreme Court legalized some abortions in Roe v. Wade.

1939 Uranium atom 1st split, Columbia University

1946 US President sets up CIA, Central Intelligence Agency

Ukraine : Ukrainian Day (1918)
China : Chinese New Year-The Year of the Monkey (2004/4702)

1492 "Pentateuch" (Jewish holy book) 1st printed
1552 2nd version of Book of Common Prayer becomes mandatory in England

1556 The deadliest earthquake on record killed 830,000 in Shansi, China.

1894 G W Bunbury of Dublin sets shorthand record of 250 wpm for 10 minutes

1983 Russian radioactive satellite falls into Indian Ocean

Luxembourg : Grand Duchess' Birthday

41 Roman emperor, Gaius Caesar, better known as Caligula (meaning Little Boot—he used to wear military boots as a child), was murdered.

1848 Gold was first discovered in California, in Sutter's mill. When President Polk announced the news in December, the gold rush began.

1972 Japanese soldier Shoichi Yokoi was discovered in Guam, having spent 28 years hiding in the jungle thinking World War II was still going on.

1899 Rubber heel patented by Humphrey O'Sullivan

Aymara Indians, Bolivia : Alacitis Fair

1799 1st US patent for a seeding machine, Eliakim Spooner, Vermont

1870 Soda fountain patented by Gustavus Dows

1890 Nellie Bly beats Phileas Fogg's time around world by 8 days (72 days)

1955 Columbia University scientists develop an atomic clock accurate to within one second in 300 years

1993 Sears announces it is closing its catalog sales department after 97 years

Uganda : 2nd Republic Day

0066 5th recorded perihelion passage of Halley's Comet

1837 Michigan became the 26th state in the United States

1905 The world's largest diamond, the Cullinan (3106 carats), was discovered near Pretoria, South Africa.

1950 India, three years after gaining its independence from the United Kingdom, formally became a republic.

Arkansas : General Douglas MacArthur Day
China : Chinese New Year-The Year of the Ox (2009/4707)
Dominican Republic : Duarte's Day/Dia de Duarte
India : Republic Day (1950)
Michigan : Admission Day (1837)

1967 The Apollo I fire killed astronauts Grissom, White, and Chaffee during a simulated launch at Cape Canaveral

1662 1st American lime kiln begins operation (Providence RI)

1948 1st tape recorder sold

Mauritius : Cavadee
Vietnam : Vietnam Peace Day (1973)

Moslem : A Night of Remembrance (Sha'ban 14, 1414 AH)

1878 1st telephone exchange (New Haven CT)

1915 Congress passed legislation creating the U.S. Coast Guard.

1986 U.S. shuttle Challenger exploded 72 seconds after lift off, killing all seven crew members aboard, including school teacher Christa McAuliffe.

Rwanda : Democracy Day (1961)

1845 Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven was published.

1861 Kansas became the 34th state in the United States.

1886 Karl Benz received a patent for the first successful gasoline-driven car.

1788 Australia Day

1929 Seeing Eye Guide Dog Organization forms

1953 1st movie in Cinemascope (The Robe) premieres

1989 USSR's Phobos II enters Martian orbit

Kansas : Admission Day/Kansas Day (1861)

1487 Bell chimes invented

1649 King Charles I of England was beheaded.

1933 Adolf Hitler was named Chancellor of Germany.

1948 Gandhi was assassinated.

1894 Pneumatic hammer patented by Charles King of Detroit

1922 World Law Day, 1st celebrated

1946 1st issue of Franklin Roosevelt dime

1989 5 pharoah sculptures from 1470 BC found at temple of Luxor

England : Women Peerage Day (1958)
Kentucky, Virgin Islands : Franklin D Roosevelt Day

Moslem : 'Id al-Fitr; end of Ramadan fast (Shawwal 1, 1418 AH)

1958 The first U.S. earth satellite, Explorer I, was launched.

1990 The first McDonald's opened in Russia. world's biggest McDonald's

1862 Telescope maker Alvin Clark discovers dwarf companion of Sirius

1871 Millions of birds fly over western San Francisco, darken the sky

1905 1st auto to exceed 100 mph (161 kph), A G MacDonald, Daytona Beach

1948 Magnetic tape recorder developed by Wireway

Lerwick, Shetland Islands : Up-Helly-Aa/Norse fire festival
Nauru : Independence Day (1968)
Surrey England : Dicing for Maid's Money Day

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Fun Facts

Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if you ever find yourself chased by one, run in a zigzag line. You'll lose him or her every time

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A cat's urine glows under a blacklight.

**************

Say What?

The placement of the termination as precedent of the commencement should never be assessed

**************

The editor speaks out

It is another beautiful day here in California. We had so many cloudy and rainy days that the sun is quite a change. Killer loves it. She has been playing outside for hours, coming in every five minutes or so to be sure I haven't disappeared. Of course that means she has had plenty of time to roll in the compost and find and eat the many disgusting things dogs find so pleasurable. Jay has made a pen to keep her out of the worst, but she still manages to find things.

I found myself falling asleep and not getting things done this last week.. At first I thought it was the new dietary restrictions I am following. But this morning I realized it is my allergies getting active again. That sun is starting some things blooming. I restarted my allergy pills today, and am much more alert. I only get to be off my allergy meds for around 6 weeks each year, and sleeping is my body's way of signaling the return of my allergies.

Next week starts college again. Somehow I ended up with most of my classes on Wednesday. It will be a much easier load if the homework isn't too much.

Jay and I have been reading about Thor Heyedrahl. He's the man who belived Indians from Peru made their way by raft to Tahiti, and sailed from Peru to the South Sea Islands on a balsa boat to prove it was possible. He did much more, and his life is fascinating.

Did I tell you I saw the Lord OF the Rings part three. It was sooo good. The whole series hangs together so well. I loved the scenes in Shelob's lair. There were changes from the book, but I understood why, and I think they improved the movie somewhat. The book kept saying how the ring kept preying on Frodo's mind, and how he was fearful of losing it. That would have been difficult and might not have come across well. Having Gollum poison Frodo's mind so easily made the same point.

The ending was great. too. Of course, there was no time to show the battles and destruction in the shire. Showing the series of scenes showed life had returned to normal. I think they could have shown more of Frodo's not being healed. but there was the time consideration.

All in all, I think the trilogy was extremely well done for an adaptation of a book to film. I can hardly wait to own all three sets of DVDs.

In the next few weeks I want to learn how to use my mailing program to put your name on your newsletter. For those few of you who haven't given me a name. I will have to use the first part of your email address.

I have enjoyed all the email I have gotten from those who have written. Some of the things you send will find it's way into future issues. Other things, like blond jokes and lawyer jokes are heartily enjoyed, but not exactly what I want to put in the newsletter. (For those who don't know me, I am blond, so read the blond jokes with a different eye)

*************

A web site of interest

As many of you know, some HMOs reduce care for certain procedures to the most minimal. One of those procedures is the mastectomy. Women are sometimes forced to go home a few hours after the surgery, often with drainage tubes still attached. The wishes of the doctor in charge are ignored.

There's a bill called the Breast Cancer Patient Protection Act which will require insurance companies to cover a minimum 48-hour hospital stay for patients undergoing a mastectomy.

Lifetime Television has put! this bill on their web page with a petition drive to show your support. Last year over half the House signed on.

PLEASE!!!! Sign the petition by clicking on the web site below and help women living with breast cancer get the care they need and deserve!! There is no cost or monetary pledge involved. You need not give more than your name and zip code number.

http://www.lifetimetv.com/health/breast_mastectomy_pledge.html

Another Web site of interest- it is related to the Lord's prayer, so don't go unless you are interested in that sort of thing. It is diferent than any other site on any prayer I have ever seen

http://www.dobhran.com/greetings/GRinspire297.htm

Thanks Lynn!

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Riddle Answer

Frost forms on the inside of the window, not the outside. So Mr. Fiend could not have wiped it off to discover Mr. Tidy`s body.

*************

Brain Teaser Answer

The son had shown his father a match. Whenever he lit the match, it filled the entire room with light, yet it was still small enough to fit into his pocket

*****************

Say what’ translated

The ends don’t justify the means

*****************

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LEONA’S BRAIN CANDY

A treat for your brain

Meant to make you smile

Where else can you get so much delivered to you at no charge?

************

Unsubscribe directions at bottom 040128

***************

This week’s riddle

Answer at end of letter

My life can be measured in hours, I serve by being devoured.
Thin, I am quick, Fat, I am slow, Wind is my foe.
What am I?

*****************

Quote of the week

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

Douglas Adams (1952 - 2001),

************

This week’s Brain Teaser

Answer at end of letter

Two men working at a construction site were up for a challenge, and they were pretty mad at each other. Finally, at lunch break, they confronted. One man, obviously stronger, said "See that wheelbarrow? I'm willin' to bet $100 (that's all I have in my wallet here) that you can't wheel something to that cone and back that I can't do twice as far. Do you have a bet?"
The other man, too dignified to decline, shook his hand, but he had a plan formulating. He looked at the objects lying around: a pile of 400 bricks, a steel beam, the 10 men that had gathered around to watch, his pickup truck, a stack of ten bags of concrete mix, and then he finalized his plan.
"All right," he said, and revealed his object.

That night, the strong man went home thoroughly teased and $100 poorer. What did the other man choose?

*********************

Welcome to Leona's Brain Candy . If you choose to forward part of braincandy, please forward the whole letter.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

· Riddle of the week

· Quote of the week

· This week’s brain teaser

· Joke of the week

· Pun of the week

· Limerick of the week

· Celebrate this week

· Say what?

· The editor speaks out

· A Web Site of Interest

· Riddle answer

· ‘Say what’ translated

· Subscribe/unsubscribe information.

******

Joke of the week

A man's car stalled on a country road one morning. When the man got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. "Your trouble is probably in the carburetor," said the cow.

Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. The amazed man told the farmer his story.

"Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?" asked the farmer. "Yes, yes," the man replied.

"Oh! I wouldn't listen to Bessie," said the farmer. "She doesn't know a thing about cars."

***************

FWD

For anyone who didn't see David Letterman's take on this: (And it's a true story...)

On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to eat," she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the elevator.

As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already aboard. Both were black. One of them was tall...very tall...and was an intimidating figure.
The woman froze. Her first thought was: These two are going to rob me.
Her next thought was: Don't be a bigot, they look like perfectly nice gentlemen.
But racial stereotypes are powerful, and fear
immobilized her.

She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind but, gosh, they had to know what she was thinking!!! Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now.

Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator. Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator doors as they closed. A second passed, and the another second, and then another. Her fear increased! The elevator
didn't move. Panic consumed her. My God, she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed! Her heart plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore.

Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct
told her to do what they told her. The bucket of
quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her. Take my money and spare me, she prayed. More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely, "Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push the button."
The one who said it had a little trouble getting the
words out. He was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up. Confused, she struggled to her feet.

"When I told my friend here to hit the floor," said the average sized one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am."
He spoke genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he
was having a hard time not laughing.

The woman thought: My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself. She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going to rob you?

She didn't know what to say. The three of them
gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her
bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they
then insisted on walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door they bid her a good evening. As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed herself
off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for dinner with her husband.

The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill. The card said: "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."

It was signed;
Eddie Murphy
Michael Jordan

Editors note: true or not, it is a great story.

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Pun of the Week

FOR ALL YOU LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS)

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully
recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would
result in Linoleum Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

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Limerick of the week

A bottle of perfume that Willy sent
Was highly displeasing to Millicent.
Her thanks were so cold
That they quarreled, I'm told,
Through that silly scent Willy sent Millicent.

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Latin Corner

Condemnant quod non intellegunt

"They condemn because they do not understand," a phrase used to defend almost anything